How can I help him heal?

He is a truth seeker. Every day he searches for a way to find blame with himself for the accident. Why didn't they stay five minutes longer at the park? Why didn't they go to the restaurant where Lauren wanted to go?...it would have taken longer. Why didn't he go a different route, instead of the one he usually took? Why did they take the dogs? Why didn't he put her in a five-point harness car seat (even though she was really too tall for one)? Why, why, why, why....'how can I go on living' is the question he asks himself a hundred times a day. I listen to him and try to reassure him that there is only one person to blame, and it is not he. The investigator has spent hours with him doing the same. It is breaking my heart that I've not only lost a precious granddaughter, but now it seems I am losing my son as well...the only son I have left.

The investigators are almost positive that she was texting, or at the very least making a phone call. There seems to be no other explanation for the complete lack of attention to her driving. They have subpoenaed the telephone records from her carrier. They do know that she had a dropped call at 1:47 p.m., and the first 911 call came in at 1:48, and she made a call to her husband at 1:49. The prosecutor was dismayed that the (older, not tech-savvy) officer at the scene didn't confiscate her phone as he should have, but he did note the time of her dropped call. 

I was mistaken about her having just left a funeral. She had attended one that morning, but afterward had lunch with her husband, and was heading back to work, probably in a hurry. She admitted that she saw the deer crossing the road and the car that was also stopped in the opposite lane, that she placed her foot on top of the brake, but she didn't see their vehicle, and she didn't depress the brake pedal. The investigators determined mathematically that she had anywhere from five to eight seconds to react. Five to eight seconds. Count it out. Even if she had seen them at the last second and had braked, it might have saved Lauren's life. She was going 55-60 mile per hour and hit a stopped vehicle, on a straight, flat road, in good weather, in broad daylight. She has hired the most powerful law firm in Dayton. 

The prosecutor says that he will charge her with nothing less than vehicular manslaughter, but he will try to make a case for vehicular homicide, neither of which carries more than a slap on the wrist, because they are misdemeanors. And because they are not felonies, even if convicted, she will not have it on her record permanently. Slight justice for the walking wounded.

But I don't really care about that. I just want my son to be whole again.

Lauren Elizabeth Drummond

Lauren Elizabeth Drummond

Photo taken by her Poppy on August 14, 2011

Taken from us on August 15

She was so full of life, from the moment she was born. Full of intense curiosity and intelligence, she wanted to be in the middle of every conversation. Her smile was radiant and at times mischievous. She liked to get her own way, and often if she got the better of me, she would say "You're the best, Grammy!" She loved Princesses and pink and animals and dancing and music, and so many things, everything, really, about life.

How is it possible for a child to be laughing and happy after a day with her family and her two dogs, spent at the park where they had a picnic and fed the ducks...how can she be here one minute and the next minute be gone?  Her daddy stopped to let a deer cross the road as did other drivers on the opposite side of the road. This young woman, herself a mother of young children, will forever have to live with the fact that her inattention took my wonderful granddaughter's life away forever.  There were no skid marks...she never even slowed down. She had just left a funeral and was on her way back to work. Even though Lauren and her brother were secured in safety seats, the impact of the crash drove her seat forward as her daddy's seat broke and collapsed backward. The surgeon did everything he could to put her back together, but there was just too much trauma to her brain. Her mommy, who herself is a registered nurse/nurse practitioner, knew at the scene that it was very, very bad, but hoped against hope that she was wrong. 

Lauren will be laid to rest beside her Uncle Joshua, who she never got to know. She will be wearing a beautiful pink dress, a pink hat, in a pink Princess casket, with her dog Molly's ashes tucked in beside her.

March is for birthdays

It begins with a big boy turning eight years old.  It's hard to fit 8 candles on a dinosaur cupcake.  And, yes, he wanted his hair that short!

The dinosaurs were also party favors.

Nathan was born in Louisiana, and his birthday was the day before Mardi Gras....sooo, the dinosaurs fought their battle on a bed of purple, green and yellow-sugared vanilla frosting topping chocolate fudge cakes.

Best buddy Garrett

There were friends bearing gifts.

Reading circle buddy Tiara. They discuss books. :)

Matthew really enjoyed his cupcake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then there was birthday number two, or rather number five, for Lauren.

She wanted a kitten princess cake.  I had to take cupcake surrounds (outside liners) shaped like crowns and put kitty stickers on them. There were also picks shaped like castles and those got the stickers also. She loved it, but immediately asked me where the brown and orange stripes were that she wanted. I'm sorry, Lauren, but I just couldn't do brown and orange with pink and green. Bad Grammy! 

The family was there to help her celebrate with homemade pizza. 

Her best cousin/friend Kaitlyn, who is always by her side at Grammy and Poppy's.

Gaige sporting his visor creation that was the party craft.

Nathan and his winning smile.

Matthew was much more interested in the cake than he was the pizza.

There were a few Disney and My Little Pony characters invited. 

And she was a very happy and excited little girl.

We also have Gaige, Nathan and Kaitlyn's daddy's birthday today. And I have one of my very best friend's BD, two nephews and one niece. It's almost as many as May and October!

This & That...Happy Birthday, Matt!

Last Friday, the day before the big reunion, our grandson Matthew had his second birthday. We celebrated at our favorite Chinese restaurant.

Matt was sleepy and a wee bit bemused that all the attention was focused on him.

Sister Lauren got everyone going by telling us what we should do.

Cousin Kaitlyn kept things peaceful and on an even keel.

Cousin Gaige thoroughly enjoyed the many buffet offerings.

Cousin Nathan provided the evening's entertainment.

Finally, it was time to get down to business!

There was even singing by a lovely duo.

The very exciting finale!

Lauren was giving more help than was actually needed very helpful.

Happy Birthday, dear Matthew! Happy Birthday to you!

Randomness...

too small for a post, too good to pass up.

Been braiding some garlic.

Picking blackberries and making pies and cobblers.

Little Feather has decided the best place to lay her eggs is on a chair in my 3-season room. I leave Lucy the dog out there with the door slightly propped open when I'm away for more than a few hours, and twice I've come home and found an egg lying in the chair.

Well, it's one I don't have to bring in from the coop, I guess.

Lauren's Unicorn Birthday

It's hard for me to believe that Lauren Elizabeth is now four years old! It seems like only yesterday that we were unwrapping her swaddling blanket and counting fingers and toes. But the proof is in the pudding....or the cake, to be exact. It was an exciting birthday party....there were dozens of kids attending....well, maybe it was only a dozen, but you know how it is when there are that many running around a house and screaming at the top of their lungs having a wonderful time. There was pizza and wings and veggies and chips....all the foods that kids want at parties. And cake! Don't forget the cake!

There was "pin the horn on the unicorn" for fun.

Lauren loved her unicorn cake.

"Lauren, do you need help blowing out all those candles?" asked Kaitlyn.

Lauren couldn't wait to tear into her presents!

Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

March is for Birthdays

With Nathan's sixth birthday on the 7th, Lauren's third birthday on the 13th, my pal Cindy's on the 14th and Daniel's on the 18th, March is a very busy birthday month around here. Nathan's and Lauren's are the big ones and I'll let the pictures tell the story.

 

 

 

Wistful and wishful girls.
Don't worry Lauren, your turn is coming soon.

 

Blow hard, Nate!

 

It's Lauren's turn.

 

Busted!

 

Don't burn your hair!

 

 

And a few of Matthew.