and life goes on

It's busy at our house these days. Our daughter Aimee and grandchildren Gaige, Nathan, and Kaitlyn are living with us temporarily (since Christmas) while she is going through a divorce. It's been a rough ten+ years for her, and sometimes for the kids. She married very young, one month before Gaige was born. She was headstrong and was drawn to the bad boy persona in young men. Unfortunately, what age and wisdom and actually living with a person day in and day out brings is the knowledge that bad boys don't treat women with respect. They don't hold down jobs. They care more about themselves than they do the people whom they claim to love. They don't accept responsibility for their own actions, always blaming someone else for their mistakes and wrongdoing. They possess, rather than love. They have violent tempers.

I love having my daughter back. She's her old self again...the person she had suppressed for many years...the wickedly funny, extremely intelligent girl she used to be. The woman who for so long was allowed only the friends chosen by her husband, ones he could control. She has reconnected with so many of her childhood and teenage friends, friends whom SHE chose. She's back in school, getting a degree in nuclear medicine technology and doing great...getting all A's. I can have lunch or go shopping with my daughter whenever I want, something that hasn't happened in all those years. She is a part of our family once again. She is finally getting her life together. I have my daughter back!

Christmas was hard. We went through the motions and even enjoyed parts of it, but it was so different. I didn't send Christmas cards for the first time in forty years. A friend to whom I hadn't spoken since before Christmas pinpointed the reason for me yesterday...it was because I couldn't take the annual grandkids family portrait. There were no raucous and crazy portrait sessions as in years past. I know it wasn't fair to the other kids, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There would have been too big a hole.

That space will be filled just a little come June. Jaye and Kelly are expecting a son! We are all so happy for them. They hurried just a little, because of Kelly's age (she's 42), and because they don't want Matthew to grow up an only child. He is so lonely. He clings to Kaitlyn when she visits. Aimee let her spend the weekend with them last week and she and Matt had a great time. But when it came time for her to come home, it was devastating for Matthew. He cried and cried, begging her not to leave. We're hoping this new baby will bring some solace and comfort to them...to all of us. We will celebrate his birth with joy.

Meanwhile, we're still waiting on justice to prevail. The driver who killed Lauren was charged with vehicular homicide and vehicular manslaughter, but after the arraignment, the prosecutor received the records from her cell phone company and they confirmed that she was texting at the time of the crash. Also, the crime scene investigators finally determined her speed...70 mph on impact. Jaye had started moving his vehicle, but was going only 10 mph. The prosecutor is hoping to use the new evidence to bump the charge up to aggravated vehicular homicide, which is a felony in Ohio, and carries a much more commensurate sentence. We have hope that the judge will actually apply the sentence, instead of giving her a slap on the wrist. There have been two similar cases in Ohio recently where the judges have cracked down on this kind of behavior and given the maximum sentence. I know that no amount of time in jail will bring our Lauren back, but maybe it will prevent someone else from being killed. Maybe our state legislature will pull their heads out of their collective ass and get a bill passed that prohibits texting while driving; indeed, prohibits all cell phone use while driving. It's not that hard to do. I've given it up, and so has my entire family. I was never a texter while I was driving, but I did do a lot of catch-up phoning to family and friends. I don't even miss it. It is actually rather freeing.

Our winter has been fairly mild so far. Kind of a crazy December and January with lots of rain. In fact, Ohio's all-time precipitation record was broken in 2011. I wish we could have sent some of that rain to the drought-stricken states. Of course, we still have two months of winter to look forward to, and our February is usually much worse than January, so I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to scrape the driveway and shovel the sidewalks. We had a wood-burning fireplace insert installed in October, and we've been enjoying the wonderful heat, which is sometimes a little too wonderful. Thanksgiving Day I spent cooking in shorts and a t-shirt with the kitchen window wide open, while my  in-laws huddled around the wood-burner with three layers of clothes. And it was 65 degrees outside. Lordy!

David retired in September after 37 years with the same company. They gave him a wonderful send-off. He loves being home, and I love having him at home. The only bad thing is that he started falling apart nearly as soon as the ink dried on his severance papers. He has been having severe pain in his right hip and pain in his back. After trying his primary doctor, and then an osteopath, who weren't able to help him, he finally saw an orthopedic specialist last week. The cartilage in his right hip joint is completely gone. He will be having a total hip replacement this spring. He's also seeing a neurologist/spine specialist tomorrow to rule out any spinal problems. He's very upbeat about the hip surgery. Everyone we've talked to who has had it done or knows someone who has, says it improves their lives about 99%. David has been so used to being active and doing whatever he wants, that this has been a real setback for him, and he is willing to do whatever it takes to get back to his normal self. He has been looking forward to his retirement for several years, and we have a lot of travel plans, and he wants to be able to do all those things and enjoy life. I guess I will get to polish up my nursing skills.  It will make up for the times when I rolled my eyes behind his back after listening to him go on and on about it. No, really. Endlessly. All. Day. Long.  I feel bad about it. Don't tell him.

I feel terrible that I haven't visited my wonderful bloggy friends nearly as much as I wanted. I've popped in on a few of you, and I've read more than I've commented. I'm hoping to return full-force to blogging after the dust settles around here. It's a little hard for the elderly to concentrate with three kids in the house, and then there's the laundry and the cooking and the cleaning, etc. It feels good to write this though, so I know I'm not finished with my story. Not yet.


ADDENDUM:  I found out yesterday that the county prosecutor will NOT be adding an aggravated vehicular homicide charge. Quoting from an email from my daughter-in-law to the texting ban bill advocate with whom I've been working.

"The county prosecutor's office believes that the text being the
same minute as the crash leaves it open for the assailant to say she
made the text after the crash. This would not be believable given her
statement there were no texts made before of after the crash. Also the
1st 911 call was at 1:48 and 37 seconds by a passerby on a bicycle. He
could dispute this as well.

"Also we see that H.B. 99 has opponents claiming that our
current "reckless laws" cover it and there is no need for another law.
Our case reflects that this simply is not the case. I don't think you
could get any closer than a 1:47 text with a 1:47 crash and for county
prosecutors to refuse it as a "recklessness" case based on "evidentiary
issues" is a disgrace."

 

 

What I did on my summer vacation

I know there are a couple of dedicated Swamp rats (you know who you are) who have been anticipating my return from my self-imposed exile. I'm easing my toes back into the murky depths of Bear Swamp with a back-to-blog pictorial essay.

Our trip to Pennsylvania.

Our visit to State College, PA, home of Penn State University, brought us to this old farm on one of the best trout-fishing streams in the eastern part of the state. I spent some time exploring while David got his line wet.

There were stone posts around the perimeter of the yard. I think they were once linked by fencing material.


















The yard was very shaded by hardwood trees and enormous firs, making for some interesting moss and lichen formations.

It almost resembles a globe, don't you think?

After we left State College, we visited friends near Bethlehem, PA. This is one of several bridges built in the early 1900's that cross the Lehigh River. We were walking along the river to MusicFest, where my twelve-year-old goddaughter Sofia was dancing with her Irish Dance academy. (At the end of the post you will get a chance to see her in action.)

When we arrived in Tunkhannock, PA (near Scranton-Wilkes Barre, and of which David will never learn the correct pronunciation), we were delighted by my online choice of our bed & breakfast called Sharpe's House, owned by Harry and Dorothy Sharpe. We didn't get to meet Dorothy, because she was in Michigan having a reunion with several of her high school chums. Harry was a wonderful host though, and Dorothy had left several choices of nut breads for him to serve each morning. He's a very good slicer. He also did very well cutting up large dishes of summer fruits and made a perfect pot of coffee. He even made us hard-boiled eggs each morning. He was friendly, but not intrusive, and so accomodating. We were the only guests the first night, and since we would have had to share a bathroom, Harry turned down two last minute requests for rooms on the subsequent days. Isn't it wonderful to be liked?

There were walking paths with discoveries, both whimsical,

and sublime.

Finally, the wedding day of our dear friends' daughter, Sharon, arrived. I loved the setting of a simple country church with summer flowers befitting their surroundings. The ceremony was meaningful and full of humor. And the bride was lovely.

Here is Sofia's promised dance. No, that isn't her real hair; they all wear insanely curly wigs. They're big into uniformity.

The days go by...

13,870 of them, to be exact, not taking into account Leap Year days. Thirty-eight years since we said "I will", not "I do". Most of the days were happy ones, or just ho-hum. Some of them were heartbreaking and sad beyond belief. It's easy to get through the happy and ho-hum ones. The real test is getting through the not-so-happy ones. We've passed the test and the glue we've spun is holding fast.

Happy Anniversary to my love

He floored me

So, a couple of people (my sister Judy and my friend Ruth) have asked to see pictures of the new hardwood floor that my dear, long-suffering husband installed a couple of weeks ago. He was home for a week on an unpaid furlough from work (the first of two). He thought this would be the perfect time to do a project he's been putting off for a while.

When he called our local Ace Hardware rental counter to reserve a nailer (manual type), they told him he would be done in less than 24 hours, so not to worry about reserving it for day two. Well, apparently that is their little way of amusing themselves on an otherwise boring day, because not only did it take more than the proscribed 24 hours, it also took an additional 36 hours. Part of that was down time when he had to take it back to be fixed because of being jammed up. They didn't charge us for the extra six or so hours over the second day.

Now, I don't know about your husband or boyfriend or partner, but when my DH is doing home improvement projects, there's generally lots of cussing going on. Usually because his thumb is throbbing from a direct hammer hit, or he's bleeding profusely from some lethal blade contraption. For some reason, I always feel as if I should apologize every five minutes even though I had nothing to do with the injuries. A few choice curse words are reserved for things that go wrong. He's a perfectionist, what can I say, there are always things that go wrong in his eyes. Like the board that I picked out to go down next and it was an inch shy of the six inches of spacing recommended by the manufacturer. An inch. He didn't really yell or curse at me, but I could see it in his eyes, yes indeedy.

By the time he finished restaining the baseboard and putting it back on and I touched up a couple of dings in the new paint job that I did a few weeks prior, it took five days to complete. But we're happy with the results, we think. The first time we had the family over for dinner we realized why people who have hardwood floors always have rugs down. It's very loud and echo-y in there. I voiced out loud that maybe it would be a good idea to buy a rug to absorb some of the sound. Now the room is only 11 1/2 feet by 13 1/2 feet, so by the time you get a rug large enough to accommodate a table with two leaves and eight chairs, that doesn't leave a lot of wood showing. I got a resounding "No way!" from DH. No way was he going to cover up all that hard work. So I guess I'll have to get used to sounding like we're in a barrel.

He is having second thoughts about installing wood in our living room which is twice as large as the dining room. We're thinking a nice brownish (goes well with the kid droppings and the muddy dog paws) short shag that's popular these days.

 

 

Today's lagniappe: (For those not familiar with Louisiana culture, lagniappe means a little something extra.)

You know the old saying "Look before you leap"? Well, sometimes you need to look before you pour. Especially early in the morning when it's your first cuppa.
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Yeah, that was after I drank the whole cup!

Relaxing week, uh, not so much

This past week was supposed to have been a little stay-cation for me while David was in Germany on business. No cooking, no housework, catching up on some reading, watching the convention, so on, so forth. Just me, the dog, the cats and sixteen chickens.

Okay, just for fun, throw in an almost-seven-year-old boy, a five-and-a-half year boy and an almost-three-year-old girl, the first day of school, and two parents who both started working second shift. I decided to just keep the kids here overnight so I wouldn't have to drive home at 12:30 or 1:00 in the morning. That meant, of course, that I picked up the two youngest at home before going to school to pick up the oldest, big-boy first-grader. Then bringing them back here to play, have dinner (which no one wanted to eat, but Gaige bravely managed to eat some of the fried rice), play some more, have baths, bedtime snacks, teeth brushing, bedtime stories and finally (sigh) singing the usual songs: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Are There Stars Out Tonight?, and Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Yes, there is a theme running through the selections. The selections can never be altered, neither in content, nor in the order in which they are sung. That much you can count on.

Think that sounds like enough? Oh, no, no, no! Said boys are VERY active and love to try and kill their Grammy with their rambunmctiousness (not sure that's a word, but it sure is descriptive!). And the noise level is tremendous! I'm thinking of investing in some Bose headphones!

Hoping to quickly scoot downstarirs to watch television and unwind after a hurried and much-needed shower was beyond the realm of possibility. The hall light had to be on and the door placement just so. And there's no chance of Kaitlyn just going to sleep on her own little Dora toddler bed. No. "Dammy (grammy), you seep wiss me? You lay down wiss me?" There is no bargaining on this point. I learned to just do it, and save myself a lot of grief. Luckily, I have a very comfortable guest bed in that room and it usually doesn't take long for her to fall asleep. Of course, there's the usual litany of excuses not to fall asleep. Each one has to do the following at least once before falling asleep: drink of water, go pee, needs a tissue, one more hug and kiss. (More sighing)

Finally, everyone was fast asleep and I quietly slipped downstairs to watch the convention which had already started, but with the magic of Tivo, I could watch in its entirety sans commercials and speed past the talking heads' commentary and get to the good stuff. What? What is that? Are my eyelids closing involuntarily? How can that be after such a peaceful, relaxing day? Knowing that I would have to get up early in the morning to get Gaige ready for school and the others ready to go home, I gave up and went to bed. It would have been nice if I could have slept on through the night, but, every time Kaitlyn rolled over and opened her eyes a crack, she would call for me and I would have to go and "seep wiss" her.

Caffeine, lots of caffeine the next morning and rewind tape and do it all over again Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. At least David got home last evening and took some of the pressure off me, but he was suffering from jet lag and had to hit the sack early. I'm off for three days and then get to do it again next week while David is in Colorado on his annual bowhunting trip for eight days. I hope he's in jet lag hell he has a great vacation. This time, Nathan will be starting Kindergarten on Wednesday. Sounds like a new layer of fun to be added. I may be posting from the insane asylum after next week. Can you type while wearing a straightjacket?

Big boy's first day of first grade.


Oh, yeah, still no eggs! They're 19 weeks and I was hoping that at least the Golden Comets would be laying. Goldie is sure sitting in the nest box every morning, but nothing but the wooden eggs that I put in for decoys.

Why our garden should have a fence

The chickens have won the battle for who gets to eat the most tomatoes. The blasted things took forever to start bearing, because, of course, the bok-boks ate all the blooms off the bottom half of the plants! Then when they finally started getting some fruit on them, they picked off all the ones they could jump up and reach. Yum! Tasty treat. Oh, yeah, not to mention all the lovely cucumbers, peppers and pumpkins they devoured. Number one on the To-Do List for Fall: build the damn fence!

It seems we can now trust Lucy around the chickens. Of course we can! They're like a walking, squawking smorgasbord. She just follows them around waiting for snacks to pop out their butts! Why would she ever want to limit the amount of chicken poop she can eat in a day!

David left for Germany today and will be gone all week. No cooking for me! I'm planning to reduce the amount of leftovers that threaten to take over my fridge. This evening I've already dined on the remains of Thursday's dinner. Scallops with linguine in tomato-cream sauce. Yum! Awaiting me in the days ahead are spaghetti with portobello marinara, some pork loin that I smoked yesterday with added BBQ sauce and pork fried rice. I love using leftovers creatively.

Goldie is getting vewwwy interested in the nesting boxes. I found her sitting in there this morning after all the others were outside. She was the first one to investigate them. I checked her vent this afternoon and it's nice and moist and seems to be a little swollen, so that's a good sign that it won't be long! Maybe I will win The First Egg contest between Amy, Don, Ron and me.

So, Henry, the champion crowing machine (45 times in a row, dare to compare), is going to live with my mother-in-law, Phyllis. She has been wanting him for a while and I just can't take the incessant crowing anymore. I'm afraid the neighbors will lynch him some day when I'm out. And what's worse, he tried to flog one of the grandkids a couple of days ago. Nathan was chasing Kaitlyn in the yard and she was screaming like a two-year-old is wont to do and Henry flew up at Nathan with his feet going for his face. Thank goodness he doesn't have his spurs yet and he didn't quite have the hang of it, so he was unsuccessful, but it was a little scary when you realize the damage he could do in the future. One more reason to ship him off. If we didn't have that option, he would be Sunday dinner.

And, last but not least, just wanted to add a few cute pics I've taken in the past few days.