and life goes on

It's busy at our house these days. Our daughter Aimee and grandchildren Gaige, Nathan, and Kaitlyn are living with us temporarily (since Christmas) while she is going through a divorce. It's been a rough ten+ years for her, and sometimes for the kids. She married very young, one month before Gaige was born. She was headstrong and was drawn to the bad boy persona in young men. Unfortunately, what age and wisdom and actually living with a person day in and day out brings is the knowledge that bad boys don't treat women with respect. They don't hold down jobs. They care more about themselves than they do the people whom they claim to love. They don't accept responsibility for their own actions, always blaming someone else for their mistakes and wrongdoing. They possess, rather than love. They have violent tempers.

I love having my daughter back. She's her old self again...the person she had suppressed for many years...the wickedly funny, extremely intelligent girl she used to be. The woman who for so long was allowed only the friends chosen by her husband, ones he could control. She has reconnected with so many of her childhood and teenage friends, friends whom SHE chose. She's back in school, getting a degree in nuclear medicine technology and doing great...getting all A's. I can have lunch or go shopping with my daughter whenever I want, something that hasn't happened in all those years. She is a part of our family once again. She is finally getting her life together. I have my daughter back!

Christmas was hard. We went through the motions and even enjoyed parts of it, but it was so different. I didn't send Christmas cards for the first time in forty years. A friend to whom I hadn't spoken since before Christmas pinpointed the reason for me yesterday...it was because I couldn't take the annual grandkids family portrait. There were no raucous and crazy portrait sessions as in years past. I know it wasn't fair to the other kids, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There would have been too big a hole.

That space will be filled just a little come June. Jaye and Kelly are expecting a son! We are all so happy for them. They hurried just a little, because of Kelly's age (she's 42), and because they don't want Matthew to grow up an only child. He is so lonely. He clings to Kaitlyn when she visits. Aimee let her spend the weekend with them last week and she and Matt had a great time. But when it came time for her to come home, it was devastating for Matthew. He cried and cried, begging her not to leave. We're hoping this new baby will bring some solace and comfort to them...to all of us. We will celebrate his birth with joy.

Meanwhile, we're still waiting on justice to prevail. The driver who killed Lauren was charged with vehicular homicide and vehicular manslaughter, but after the arraignment, the prosecutor received the records from her cell phone company and they confirmed that she was texting at the time of the crash. Also, the crime scene investigators finally determined her speed...70 mph on impact. Jaye had started moving his vehicle, but was going only 10 mph. The prosecutor is hoping to use the new evidence to bump the charge up to aggravated vehicular homicide, which is a felony in Ohio, and carries a much more commensurate sentence. We have hope that the judge will actually apply the sentence, instead of giving her a slap on the wrist. There have been two similar cases in Ohio recently where the judges have cracked down on this kind of behavior and given the maximum sentence. I know that no amount of time in jail will bring our Lauren back, but maybe it will prevent someone else from being killed. Maybe our state legislature will pull their heads out of their collective ass and get a bill passed that prohibits texting while driving; indeed, prohibits all cell phone use while driving. It's not that hard to do. I've given it up, and so has my entire family. I was never a texter while I was driving, but I did do a lot of catch-up phoning to family and friends. I don't even miss it. It is actually rather freeing.

Our winter has been fairly mild so far. Kind of a crazy December and January with lots of rain. In fact, Ohio's all-time precipitation record was broken in 2011. I wish we could have sent some of that rain to the drought-stricken states. Of course, we still have two months of winter to look forward to, and our February is usually much worse than January, so I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to scrape the driveway and shovel the sidewalks. We had a wood-burning fireplace insert installed in October, and we've been enjoying the wonderful heat, which is sometimes a little too wonderful. Thanksgiving Day I spent cooking in shorts and a t-shirt with the kitchen window wide open, while my  in-laws huddled around the wood-burner with three layers of clothes. And it was 65 degrees outside. Lordy!

David retired in September after 37 years with the same company. They gave him a wonderful send-off. He loves being home, and I love having him at home. The only bad thing is that he started falling apart nearly as soon as the ink dried on his severance papers. He has been having severe pain in his right hip and pain in his back. After trying his primary doctor, and then an osteopath, who weren't able to help him, he finally saw an orthopedic specialist last week. The cartilage in his right hip joint is completely gone. He will be having a total hip replacement this spring. He's also seeing a neurologist/spine specialist tomorrow to rule out any spinal problems. He's very upbeat about the hip surgery. Everyone we've talked to who has had it done or knows someone who has, says it improves their lives about 99%. David has been so used to being active and doing whatever he wants, that this has been a real setback for him, and he is willing to do whatever it takes to get back to his normal self. He has been looking forward to his retirement for several years, and we have a lot of travel plans, and he wants to be able to do all those things and enjoy life. I guess I will get to polish up my nursing skills.  It will make up for the times when I rolled my eyes behind his back after listening to him go on and on about it. No, really. Endlessly. All. Day. Long.  I feel bad about it. Don't tell him.

I feel terrible that I haven't visited my wonderful bloggy friends nearly as much as I wanted. I've popped in on a few of you, and I've read more than I've commented. I'm hoping to return full-force to blogging after the dust settles around here. It's a little hard for the elderly to concentrate with three kids in the house, and then there's the laundry and the cooking and the cleaning, etc. It feels good to write this though, so I know I'm not finished with my story. Not yet.


ADDENDUM:  I found out yesterday that the county prosecutor will NOT be adding an aggravated vehicular homicide charge. Quoting from an email from my daughter-in-law to the texting ban bill advocate with whom I've been working.

"The county prosecutor's office believes that the text being the
same minute as the crash leaves it open for the assailant to say she
made the text after the crash. This would not be believable given her
statement there were no texts made before of after the crash. Also the
1st 911 call was at 1:48 and 37 seconds by a passerby on a bicycle. He
could dispute this as well.

"Also we see that H.B. 99 has opponents claiming that our
current "reckless laws" cover it and there is no need for another law.
Our case reflects that this simply is not the case. I don't think you
could get any closer than a 1:47 text with a 1:47 crash and for county
prosecutors to refuse it as a "recklessness" case based on "evidentiary
issues" is a disgrace."

 

 

This & That...Happy Birthday, Matt!

Last Friday, the day before the big reunion, our grandson Matthew had his second birthday. We celebrated at our favorite Chinese restaurant.

Matt was sleepy and a wee bit bemused that all the attention was focused on him.

Sister Lauren got everyone going by telling us what we should do.

Cousin Kaitlyn kept things peaceful and on an even keel.

Cousin Gaige thoroughly enjoyed the many buffet offerings.

Cousin Nathan provided the evening's entertainment.

Finally, it was time to get down to business!

There was even singing by a lovely duo.

The very exciting finale!

Lauren was giving more help than was actually needed very helpful.

Happy Birthday, dear Matthew! Happy Birthday to you!

Randomness...

too small for a post, too good to pass up.

Been braiding some garlic.

Picking blackberries and making pies and cobblers.

Little Feather has decided the best place to lay her eggs is on a chair in my 3-season room. I leave Lucy the dog out there with the door slightly propped open when I'm away for more than a few hours, and twice I've come home and found an egg lying in the chair.

Well, it's one I don't have to bring in from the coop, I guess.

First birthdays happen once in a lifetime

Matthew Tyler's first birthday was on Thursday. I baked his cake (obviously I am not a professional cake decorator!) with a Sesame Street theme which totally didn't match the party theme of puppies, because I couldn't find any puppy cake decorations.

 

Let's get right to the gifts. Hmmm, wonder what's in this bag?

 

I can really throw this ball!

 

My sister and cousins were there.

Lauren, my big sis.

 

Kaitlyn and my Aunt Aimee helping free Curious George.

 

Gaige and Nathan with their puppy ears.

 

 

What did you say Mommy? It's time for cake now?

 

Happy Birthday, dear Matthew. Happy Birthday to you!

 

 

 

A very tired and sleepy one-year-old boy.

 

He wore the hat the entire time!

Rub-a-dub-dubby

I went to Jaye's this past week to help him out with a couple of things and decided to give Matthew a bath while I was there. Mommy and Daddy were still using the baby tub to bathe him, but this big boy yearned to be in big water. He had a ball, splashing and making lots of cute baby noises. When I got him out and dried off, I couldn't stop smelling his neck. He smelled sooo good.

 

 

Cute babes

A few pictures of the cutie-pies who were visiting this weekend.

Matthew and Lauren

Matthew and Lauren came for a visit on Sunday. Lauren and her daddy had been sick for about a week with some kind of stomach virus. She's looking quite perky in this picture, although she started running a fever and feeling bad later in the evening.

Matthew looks cute sleeping on Poppy's tummy. Notice the Ohio University shirt. Maybe he's trying to influence Matthew's future college choice.

Visiting Grammy and Poppy

On separate days, Jaye and Aimee both brought their families for a visit. I forgot to get a picture of Lauren, but here are a couple of new ones of Matthew. He was ten days old. He is such a calm, contented baby and he looks just like his daddy when he was an infant.



Aimee and Daniel and children came over yesterday. We cooked out and the kids had a great time. They hadn't been out for a couple of weeks and were surprised to see how much the chickens had grown. I've been saving dropped feathers for them to have for art projects and the boys immediately got to work making their version of dreamcatchers.

Fresh and Clean

After visiting Matthew in the hospital, we brought Lauren home with us for the night. She had a wonderful time playing with My Little Ponys on the porch with her Poppy. Then we had a hastily-prepared dinner of frozen Taquitos (from Trader Joe's), pinto beans and sauteed zucchini. To my surprise, her favorite thing was the beans! She must take after her Grammy. After playing a little longer, it was off to have a bath. She loves playing with the fish that squirt water. Grammy always does the 'Jaws" music when the fish are nibbling at her toes. Then she gets squirted! "Do again!" she squeals. When she was dressed in jammies, she had a snack of graham crackers and milk before having her teeth brushed. Then it is time for a story or two. We read "The Berenstain Bears' The New Baby". It was her Daddy's book that I bought when I was pregnant with Josh. I can't believe it has held up for 29 years and it's not even hardback. Here is Lauren looking for a snack in the pantry.



Matthew is doing very well and will be ready to come home today. He's a calm baby, quite unlike big sister Lauren. Of course, that may change after he is home. He is nursing well and is sleeping a lot, so he must be getting nutrition. Kelly isn't supplementing with formula, so it's all her. His weight is holding steady. He's a real cutie-pie! His Daddy keeps calling him "Dude". Should that be his nickname?

New Kid on the Block

Matthew Tyler made his appearance in this old world at 10:01 this morning. Mommy's C-section went smoothly and both she and the baby are doing very well. He was quite a big boy at 9 lbs., 12 oz. and a very long 22 inches. He has large feet and hands just like Daddy! Great-great Grandma Hinkle always used to say they need a good foundation to stand on, so I think he is fulfilling that requirement well. Here's a look at his hand as he waves.



Matthew is named for his dad's middle name and his Uncle Joshua Tyler who we lost two years ago in May. Jaye and Kelly were trying to come up with an M name, because they wanted to keep the alphabetical sequence of their first initials: Jaye, Kelly, Lauren. We sat one Sunday afternoon and went through all the M names in the baby naming book and they couldn't agree on any of them. So I said well what about Matthew? At first they were reluctant, because they didn't want it shortened to Matt. Take that as a warning, family and friends! But lacking anything else that they could agree on, they decided to go ahead with it. Aimee, our daughter and Jaye's sister, suggested Tyler as a tribute to their brother, and so Matthew Tyler it is. I think it's a fine name and very classy for a beautiful little boy.

Here I am

This is my second first attempt at blogging. I wasn't satisfied with the tone my first post set, so I took down my blog after rethinking what I wanted to do. With this one, I will try to achieve my original intent, which is a place to put my feelings about everyday life and possibly to develop any latent writing skills that I have. My son and his wife have been encouraging me to do something about writing for a while and I have been resistant to putting down on paper the words that are inside me. I'm not sure if I have anything worthwhile to say, but maybe it will be something that my grandchildren will have someday to remember their "Grammy".

What a beautiful morning today! We woke up to a cool 52 degrees and the sun shining brilliantly. I let the chickens out early to enjoy their bug and weed hunting. We really must get an enclosure built around the garden now that they are free-ranging. They have already removed the lovely yellow blooms from all the tomato plants! Maybe I shouldn't have taught them "Here chick, chick" with all those yellow dandelion flowers! It seems to have set their preference for that color.

We are counting down the days until July 2 when our third grandson will be born. He will be our first son's first son. They already have the beautiful and smart Lauren who is two years old. Our first three grandchildren are our daughter's Gaige, 6, Nathan, 5, Kaitlyn, 2 1/2. All three of them are wonderful examples of handsomeness, beauty and intelligence. We expect the new little one will be the same.

If anyone saw my first blog attempt, you will know that I had just lost my dear sister, Jane, to lung cancer. In fact, I found out as I was composing and laying it out. That, of course, colored my first post. I decided that it wasn't an auspicious beginning and was the reason for this second-go-round. But I didn't want to neglect mentioning my sister and her struggle with that dreaded disease. So, here's to you, Sissy, and to your valiant fight! I will love you always.