Facebook, shmacebook

I confess. I was a member of (gasp!) Facebook for, oh, let's say....five minutes. Somebody poked me and I poked back and then it went downhill when I got poked by some weirdo. So I cancelled my account after realizing I was getting sucked further into the giant black hole of the "interwebs". Lord knows, I spend enough time on here already.

Anyhoo, I found this amusing little article which I shamelessly lifted from today's Columbus Dispatch which shamelessly lifted it from The Chicago Tribune. I added the photos without shame.

"So you're trying to give up Facebook.

That a Web site can become a time-eating vice shows how we humans have devolved into double-clicking automatons.

Well, good for you, because the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem.

We will tell you now that temptation will avail itself as you try to wean yourself from the compulsion.

It's hard, we know, not to post that cute picture of cats eating cheeseburgers.(Guilty!) But fight the urge.












Use this guide as an inspiration:


1. Give a real gift to someone you really want to have it--much better than "virtual coffee" or any of the other Facebook tchotchkes.







.
2. Watch Tron. Consider the fate that awaits those who stare too long at the computer. (Dude, really?)









3. Try playing real Scrabble (or Scramble, as Nathan calls it)--the version with the tactile game board and wooden tiles. (My favorite board game.)




4. Poke people. Actually poke them. Then walk away without saying why you poked them. (I would not suggest doing this to just anyone on the street!)




5. Write down the last five things you did. Wait 10 minutes. Read the list. Ask yourself whether you care. ('Nuff said.)


















6. Join an actual group--the Shriners, for example. Resign after two weeks.








7. Develop a real-world obsessive-compulsive disorder. Wash your hands a lot; wash your hands a lot; wash your hands a lot. (My apologies to those who might be suffering from OCD.)

















8. Instead of posting pictures, organize the ones you've already taken.

9. In the grander scheme of things,do you really need to know that "My favorite color is blue" is one of 25 random things about Julie, your middle-school algebra classmate?

10. Join Twitter. It's like Facebook for people with short attention....Ooh! Shiny object!"


Ummm, maybe not.